My Cup Runneth Over

I am not going to lie about running. First, running did not come natural to me (still does not) and the first time I ran it was not pretty. I think the mile and a half took about thirty minutes. My lungs were burning and I had a metallic taste in my mouth. Some days it does not seem much better. I still can not run a full mile, I actually more or less walk and then run.

My time and distance yesterday. I love this app, only I use the free version by the same company.

 

I actually sometimes wonder why I put myself through it. Why go get hot and sweaty? Why stress my lungs? Why push myself so hard and I feel like I do not have anything to show for it?

 

The view I have when I am running.

 

So why do I run then? First, the view is amazing. I love running here because of it. Secondly, I love running because of the way I feel when I am done. I feel full of energy and accomplishment. Third, I run because fortunately I can. I can move, I can walk, I can run (even though it is not pretty). Fourth, I love the soul cleansing that it does for me. When my feet get heavy and my lungs are burning I know that I am stronger than the pain. I am strong enough to pick up my lead feet. I know that I am one day closer to my goal and one more unhealthy, sedentary day is behind me. I think about how I am a fighter, how a couple of years ago I fought what doctors thought would happen and walked through the hospital doors for my surgery, how at one point I would fight to climb stairs, and how now I will fight the pavement. I will win the battle like my mom is winning her battle with breast cancer. She is strong and if she can fight cancer why can I not fight the pavement and win.

 

My run yesterday was one of rare solitude because normally there is quite a few people there. I caught myself during those moments of solo running shedding tears. Why really I do not know, oddly enough it felt good. I started remembering a dream I had. Four years ago my mother was freshly diagnosed with breast cancer and it was not odd for me to bust out in random tears when no one was around. Around everyone but hubby I was strong, because if I cried it was like I was giving up on her and I would never do that. My mom is tough. During this time I remember watching the Iron Girl and I told myself I will do that one day for my mom and for other women. Well it was a dream at the time and I am contemplating making it a goal.

 

Do you have a dream? Do you have a goal? Are you contemplating doing something that you have never done before?



 Love,

Jamielynn